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Does The Bible Approve Of Dating?

Does the Bible approve of dating? This is one of the most asked questions in modern Christianity, especially amongst teens, young adults, and even single adults. This is because the bible does not directly mention the word “dating” as we know it today; however, this does not mean that the bible does not answer the question of dating. So, while the word dating itself isn’t contained in either the Old or New Testament, the Bible is rich with principles that can guide how Christians and everyone else who desires purity in their relationship.

So, to answer this question accurately, we must look at the heart of what dating involves and compare that with what the Bible emphasizes: purity, intentionality, love, self-control, and spiritual alignment. Dating has become questionable not by its existence but by how it’s practiced. Is it rooted in lust or love? Selfishness or service? God’s approval isn’t determined by the label we use but by whether the process honors Him. So, rather than asking whether dating is “biblical,” the better question is: Can my dating life be pleasing to God?

What Dating Looked Like in Biblical Times vs. Today

In biblical times, dating as we know it didn’t exist, but there existed a process that led to marriage, and this was cultural. For example, marriages were largely arranged by families, with fathers playing a central role in selecting spouses for their children. A man would often approach the father of the lady he desires, offer a bride price or dowry, and enter into a formal agreement or betrothal, followed by a period of preparation for the wedding feast, which was followed by the actual cohabitation, and after the feast, the both return to the man’s house to begin their marriage. This process was far more communal and structured, with a heavy focus on covenant, family honor, and spiritual alignment. Love was often seen as something that grew after the commitment, not necessarily what initiated it.

In contrast, modern dating is typically more individualistic and personal. People date for compatibility, fun, sexual exploration, and emotional connection, often with no clear commitment in sight. While this offers freedom, it also increases the risk of emotional wounds, temptation, and relational confusion. The key difference is intentionality and spiritual oversight. In ancient times, the community and faith guided relational steps; today, Christians are left to navigate those choices largely alone. This doesn’t make modern dating wrong, but it means you must be more deliberate about aligning your actions with biblical wisdom.

Principles the Bible Gives About Relationships and Courtship

Like I said earlier, even though the Bible doesn’t mention dating explicitly, it gives clear relational principles that can shape how we approach it as believers, and it allows different cultures to determine that using biblical principles. For instance, 1 Corinthians 13 lays the foundation for love, describing it as patient, kind, not self-seeking, and rooted in truth. Proverbs speaks repeatedly about wisdom in relationships, and 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns against being unequally yoked with unbelievers. While these passages do not outline a “Christian dating formula,” they do give moral and spiritual boundaries to help guide our hearts.

I believe this is because God cares more about the intent and character behind your relationships than the format. A dating relationship intended to promote purity, prayer, accountability, and a shared desire to honor God aligns with Scripture. The problem arises when dating becomes selfish, sensual, or spiritually compromising. Courtship and dating are both vehicles; what matters is how you drive them. The Bible encourages relationships that are holy, purposeful, and ultimately aimed toward lifelong covenant, not just temporary pleasure.

Is Christian Dating Biblical or a Modern Concept?

Christian dating, as it’s commonly practiced today in different cultures, is indeed a modern concept. In the Bible, the focus was never on romantic exploration but on commitment and covenant. Relationships moved quickly from intention to marriage, often guided by family, community, and spiritual counsel. That’s why when people ask, “Does the Bible approve of dating?” they are usually referring to a cultural practice that didn’t exist in Scripture’s historical context. However, the values and virtues that should govern those interactions are timeless.

What makes dating “Christian” isn’t the activity itself, but the way it is carried out. Is it rooted in purity? Does it glorify God? Does it pursue holiness and honor for the other person? These questions elevate modern dating beyond casual flirtation into sacred preparation. While the process of dating may be modern, the goal of Christ-centered relationship building is completely biblical. Christians can and should engage in dating if it’s done with clarity, purity, accountability, and a heart anchored in God’s will.

Biblical Boundaries for Dating with Purpose and Purity

Establishing boundaries in dating isn’t about limiting your joy; it’s about protecting your heart and honoring Jesus Christ. The Bible admonishes believers to flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18), walk in purity (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5), and love others with self-control and respect. These principles lay the foundation for setting godly boundaries that preserve both emotional and physical integrity. Remember, boundaries are not a sign of weakness; they are a sign of wisdom and strength.

Here are five (5) biblical boundaries worth applying:

These boundaries not only reflect God’s wisdom but also protect you from confusion, heartbreak, and compromise. If dating is guided by the principles of Scripture, it becomes a powerful tool for discernment, and not destruction.

Why Dating Isn’t a Sin—But Needs Discernment

Many Christians grow up believing that dating is inherently sinful because it’s not explicitly mentioned in the Bible. However, does the Bible approve of dating? The answer lies not in the activity itself, but in the heart behind it. Dating, like money or social media, is morally neutral; what matters is how it’s used. If dating is approached with selfish intent, lust, or manipulation, then yes, it can easily lead to sin. But if done with discernment, purpose, and spiritual maturity, it can be a tool for glorifying God and finding a godly spouse.

Discernment in dating means asking the right questions before emotions take over. Am I dating this person to fulfill a void or to obey God’s leading? Are we drawing closer to Christ or drifting away from Him? Are we being honest and intentional, or just passing time? When Christians date without discernment, they open themselves to heartbreak, temptation, and regret. But with prayerful wisdom, mentorship, and spiritual alignment, dating can be a meaningful step toward covenant love, not a detour from holiness.

How to Find a Godly Partner Without Compromising Your Faith

One of the most common fears Christians face is this: If I don’t date like everyone else, how will I ever find someone? But the truth is, God is not limited by culture or human systems. Does the Bible approve of dating? Not in the modern casual sense, but it supports intentional relationships that lead to covenant. Finding a godly partner doesn’t require lowering your standards, compromising your purity, or rushing ahead of God. It requires faith, patience, and wisdom.

Start by becoming the person you hope to marry, grow in your relationship with God, live with integrity, and surround yourself with a healthy, Christ-centered community. When you live according to His design, you naturally attract someone who values the same things. Trust that God can orchestrate divine connections in His timing. Attend church events, serve in ministry, seek wise counsel, and be open—but not desperate. When your heart is aligned with God, you won’t have to sacrifice your convictions to find the right partner.

Red Flags and Green Lights in Christian Dating

Recognizing warning signs early in a dating relationship is essential for protecting your heart and staying in alignment with God’s will. One major red flag is spiritual mismatch; if your partner doesn’t prioritize Christ, prayer, or biblical values, your relationship is already on shaky ground (2 Corinthians 6:14). Other red flags include controlling behavior, secrecy, an unwillingness to set boundaries, or a casual attitude toward sin. These signs reveal deeper issues that can damage not only your faith but also your future marriage.

On the other hand, green lights in Christian dating reflect godly character. Look for someone who shows humility, emotional maturity, honesty, and a servant’s heart. Do they lead you closer to God? Do they value accountability and community? Are they willing to wait, to grow, and to honor you in every way? These traits indicate a person who is prepared not just to date, but to love with intention. When evaluating a relationship, don’t rely on emotions alone; rely on discernment, Scripture, and godly counsel to determine if it’s healthy and holy.

What to Do When You’ve Already Crossed the Line

I am aware that for many, this article may come to them like an aftermath. You may be reading this and thinking, “It’s too late for me. I’ve already messed up.” If you’ve crossed physical or emotional boundaries in dating, know this: God’s grace is still for you. While God does not approve of dating that turns into compromise, He does offer redemption when we repent and turn back to Him with sincerity. What you cannot do with any amount of effort, God can do because He is merciful. And so, your story is not over; it can be rewritten if you repent, confess your sins, and offer a prayer for forgiveness.

The first step is confession, be honest with God about where you have fallen, and ask Him for strength to change course. Next, take action: set new boundaries, involve a spiritual mentor if you feel you cannot do it alone, and if needed, take a break from the relationship to refocus. Healing may take time, but it’s worth it. Sexual Purity isn’t just about virginity; it’s about the posture of your heart before God. When you return to Him, He doesn’t shame you; He restores you. And from that place of restoration, you can move forward in dating with purpose and renewed strength.

Conclusion: So, Does the Bible Approve of Dating?

So, does the Bible approve of dating? The answer is yes. The next question will be why? The reason is that marriage is both a spiritual and a cultural institution. Spiritual because God establishes it, and God allows for different cultural processes that do not violate biblical commands and principles. Therefore, while the bible doesn’t describe dating in the modern sense, it offers timeless truths about how we should treat others, guard our hearts, and pursue relationships that honor God. Dating isn’t inherently wrong, but if you approach it in ways and manners that do not reflect Christ-like character, intentionality, and a desire for holiness, then dating in that manner becomes wrong and dishonorable.

The goal of biblical dating isn’t to keep us from love; it’s to prepare us for the kind that lasts. So, if you are single, dating, or you are nurturing the idea to start a new relationship, remember that God is deeply interested in your relational journey. Let Him lead your heart. When Christ is the foundation of your relationship, dating will not distract from your faith; rather, it will become an extension of it. Trust God, follow His principles, and in due season, He will align your path with someone who’s walking faithfully toward Him, too.